I Hate That Day, 43 Year Ago

Imagine that if certain things wouldn't have happed we would not be here... That's scary! I mean, for example... 43 years ago a mans' life was forever changed. On the other side of the earth a military coup happened. The man's life, his wife and children's lives would be forever changed. He, captured and tortured, they without a father and a husband. Not knowing if they would ever see each other again. He was captured for what he thought was best, every persons right to live as they wanted. Simple as that. It was the 11th of September 1973. 43 years ago, 16 years before I was born, a man's life and his family changed forever. If it weren't for that day, I wouldn't have been alive today... Not as me at least. I wouldn't be me, the girl with the eccentric mind, I wouldn't have been me... Simple as that. That day destroyed lives. It destroyed so many family's, years to come, generations to come. It ruined minds, it ruined the man's mind. It changed him, his actions. He came to a new country, scary indeed. A new language, a new culture, new seasons. He must have been scared, terrified. But he had to come, to save his life, his children's lives and his wife's. Simple as that, unwillingly, but it was a must.

Years went, but his mind became more and more infected with hatred, sickness and delusional behaviour. That day destroyed everything. They met, love, me... I came. I came to this world. Born into a life that was from the start a fight, a struggle. But it was meant to be, I'm sure he loved me - I am sure. But his mind, sick and twisted from that day. I hate that day. She ran from him, just like he had run from that day. That day had destroyed her too, 28 years later, that day destroyed a child.

She spent years picking herself up, with glue and duck tape she recreated herself. Sometimes pieces fell out and made it worse, sometimes everything seemed to fit perfectly. Ups and downs, like what that they call ''the normal life'', just a bit more dramatic. But she did it, she found the pieces and then some, she recreated a woman who could fend for herself, who would forgive, move on and grieve in the just perfect amount. The life she chose for herself is what she always had dreamt of when everything was black. Grieving was the best thing she could have done, after that... Accepting. The memories, they'll always be there.. Always. But they don't take over, they do not destroy her anymore.

She is alive. She's living her life. That day, that day did not destroy her after all.

Brisk and Crisp, Just as I Like It

Here I am, newly awakened and the dog is snoring loudly next to me. I feel it, autumn is nearly here, if not already here. The brisk air that just seems to clash with the still very hot sun, the leaves are turning yellow and orange and the mornings are cold and dark. Even though the seasons are changing it feels like summer is clutching itself to the earth, just a bit more, it hasn't finished just yet.

I love the autumn, I truly do! The brisk and crisp air makes me good, all the colours and the smell, oh the smell, of the autumn rain. It calms me, especially the November rains. I love how the asphalt turns pitch black, the leaves seems to get glued to the ground and everything just turns beautiful. I thrive during autumn, the wonderful forest walks, everything! I don't think there are enough words in this universe to describe how good I feel in the autumn, how beautiful I think it is and how just... I don't even know. I love the nature all year around, I mean, who doesn't love to walk on the frozen water puddles and hear them crack under the feet in early winter? I do! Okay, I might need to calm myself down here so I don't go all crazy about everything I love about every season.

Okay, time to put on a bit of extra warm clothes and wake up the dog and take a walk in the woods.

Today I am happy and today I am making a good day.

He Wasn't Born a Rapist

 As I walked by the group of young men I felt myself tense up and walk a bit faster, discretely I turned my music off so I could hear if they said something of started walking after me. Exaggerated? Maybe, but why would I, a soon to be 27 year old woman be scared of a group of young men, what have they done to me? Nothing! Nothing at all, isn't it crazy how society is? I mean, today's society is built in a way where we women are scared of walking out alone, we fear being raped, followed and sexually harassed. It shouldn't be that way, never.

Now people, probably mostly men, will say "not ALL men are like that". I know that! I know plenty of nice and kind men. But WHY, why in the whole wide world do we women, no matter age, have to be scared when we are out alone. This summer I have read about countless of sexually harassed young women at festivals and such as, where men have taken the freedom to touch and in some occasions they tried to rape the woman. I feel sick hearing that, I do wonder what their mother would say if she knew what her son just did. That mother who birthed him, raised him - he should be respecting the woman... Or? Are there so many boys growing up learning that women are objects and deserve being treated as such? I really can't wrap my bead around all this. Is it purely the up bringing that creates it? Or is it the media, peer pressure? Maybe all the above, I don't think will ever understand.

As I now sit comfortably on my sofa, sipping on my tea with the dog snoring next to me. The thoughts of knowing that right now, a boy is born into this world and he will be raised by a loving mother or at least meet with wonderful women that will impact his life. And even though these women will iimpact him, he will one day go to far with a girl or a woman and it saddens me. How can we in the society raise men that will one day grow up to respect the women in this world? Isn't it everyone's responsibility to make that both men and women, girls and boys walk safely on our streets? I do think so, because a boy doesn't born into becoming a rapist or someone who sexually abuses our young girls on festivals.

Maybe I am wrong in all this, maybe I am right. But I do know that we all play a part in how the society ends up.