Health Choices and Vegan

It's late and I really should sleep but I'm researching and studying, tomorrow is my first day of work this week. I was hit by a nasty bug and has been coughing like an old man for days now. But fever is down and I*m feeling energized so I might as well work. So I told my boss that I have been offered another job and that I had said yes and going to quit within 2 weeks. I was scared shitless to tell her but it turned out really good and I feel happy and content.

Hmm... Other changes ? Not really, I've decided to go vegan again. I started to be fully vegan today and I really feel as though this is the right choice for me, my health and well being. I don't know how I*m going to solve it with my new work but I think it will work out fine, I guess I'll have to bring my own like soy bites and substitute it for the meet and skip the cream and such as.

Well, now it's time to sleep! I have to, going to be up in 6 hours. Goodnight and peace out, love each other

Sexuality

Sexuality... that's a word I think we all overthink. Are you straight, gay, pan, bi, trans etc etc... But does it matter? I know for some it does really matter and it's important to define their self-being. BUT DOES IT REALLY MATTER? For me, and this is for me only I am not speaking about anyone else's thoughts here, for me it doesn't matter any longer. I have learnt through the years that I am just human. I fall, and I fall hard for someone. I thought it was so important to define who I was and who I am that I put a label on myself without, maybe, being completely honest to myself.

I kind of felt that I had to. Because, isn't that how society works? ''- What are you'' ''- who are you?'' and so on. This past year I have grown ALOT. Lite a lot a lot. And I have realised that I am only human. With human needs and humans feelings and thoughts. And that's how I'm going to define myself for the rest of my life, with whoever I get together with. And it's the most releasing feeling every to just get that out of my system. It feels great!

Well, that was all I needed to get out. So now I'm going to go to bed, smile a bit and sleep through the night with peace.

Peace out

When The Sorrow Takes Over

An unexpected message that brought tears and more tears. The sorrow... Oh, Lord, the sorrow. Imagine feeling that nothing else matters, life doesn't matters. I think we've all, or most of us, have felt that '' What good are we?'' But, imagine when you really think that the world would be better off without you, or that you just can't bare the pain anymore. Oh, that message... What if everything was different. What if I would have been able to be there, hold his hand, hug him and tell him that big sister is here. Big sister will never leave you. Big sister loves you. If he only knew how much I love him. How amazingly happy I was when he was born, when I called and my abuela answered and told me that he was born. I was so happy, ten years old and yet another time a big sister, to him.

I know his sorrow, we share a lot of common things. One of those things are the reason we are no longer together. I wish everything was different, but of course it's not. And it can't be changed. I've accepted that. But what if, what if I had been there... Maybe, maybe we could have shared it. I could have protected him. But I couldn't. His sorrow is his, no one else's and that's so sad.

It's so sad. If I only could have been there for him. I feel so broken for him.



I have to live my life, I can't let sorrow slow me down or get me to stray paths. I need to live my life, I need to win over this. We were 7, we were a good team. So I'm gonna do this for him.  I'm done with games, sorrow and hate. I need to live. I need to take control over my life and my choices, it's my life and no one else's.  For him, I'm going to live my life.



Please find peace.

Brisk and Crisp, Just as I Like It

Here I am, newly awakened and the dog is snoring loudly next to me. I feel it, autumn is nearly here, if not already here. The brisk air that just seems to clash with the still very hot sun, the leaves are turning yellow and orange and the mornings are cold and dark. Even though the seasons are changing it feels like summer is clutching itself to the earth, just a bit more, it hasn't finished just yet.

I love the autumn, I truly do! The brisk and crisp air makes me good, all the colours and the smell, oh the smell, of the autumn rain. It calms me, especially the November rains. I love how the asphalt turns pitch black, the leaves seems to get glued to the ground and everything just turns beautiful. I thrive during autumn, the wonderful forest walks, everything! I don't think there are enough words in this universe to describe how good I feel in the autumn, how beautiful I think it is and how just... I don't even know. I love the nature all year around, I mean, who doesn't love to walk on the frozen water puddles and hear them crack under the feet in early winter? I do! Okay, I might need to calm myself down here so I don't go all crazy about everything I love about every season.

Okay, time to put on a bit of extra warm clothes and wake up the dog and take a walk in the woods.

Today I am happy and today I am making a good day.